Searching

I just watched the movie, “Searching” because I thought I was ready.

My anxiety levels were high. I was grasping onto the couch as If I was part of it ....because 4 months ago I felt like I was.

Don’t ever think you truly know every single detail about your child/children’s life.

Don’t ever think “my child would never do that” or “I know everything my child does”...because you probably don’t.

Some Social media has corrupted our children. It has drawn them in. It has played the game of catfish. It is cruel.

Why can I say this? Because it did that to my kind hearted/would never hurt a fly and treats all women with respect son.

Something drew him in. Between social media and stress of being bullied and not feeling like he fit in took over his mind.

I blamed myself. I couldn’t figure out where we went wrong.

We love on our kids like no ones business. We talk to them. We give them tough love. We are also a military family. We move a lot. We try and raise each other to be resilient. But, it doesn’t always work the way we hope. There is no book or app for that.

My son couldn’t take it. He thought that running away from the problem would make it go away.

I was that dad in the movie. ...from a hospital bed. Every thing I “learned” from those damn CSI related show was in full effect in my brain.

This wasn’t one of those “true story movies” but I’ll be damned if I didn’t just re live 80% of it.

My kids know why I am in their business. Why I have a locator on their phones. Why I will be getting some sort of LoJack shit on the cars. If I seem paranoid or a little crazy, I have every reason to be.

Don’t watch this unless you don’t cry at movies. Watch it if you really want to understand where I am coming from and why I am sharing this today.

I am beyond thankful to God and all those who prayed , that he was found within 36 hours.

He is a good kid. It wasn’t our fault. Life sucks at times. Being a teenager is freaking hard. Social media is cruel. God was there because I am not sure how we made it through all of that. I really don’t.

Be in your kids business as much as you can. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.